|Damn it woman, where are the biscuits?!|
There’s a bit of sighing and cupboard door slamming going on in the kitchen. Coupled with a bit of mumbled, slightly put out, ‘Well I can’t see them…’.
You see, my husband is looking for a (packet of) biscuit(s) to go with his tea. I’ve told him there’s some nice oaty ones in the cupboard that I bought the other day. ‘Which cupboard?’, he asks - well, its hardly difficult given that our kitchen is only just about large enough to stand 2 adults with a joint BMI of under 10, and the cat would most certainly not withstand a swinging in it either. We have two food cupboards - one for savoury stuff, one for sweet. ‘In the sweet cupboard, on the left!’, I reply (whilst doing a bit of unsubtle eye-rolling). And still he can’t find them.
You see, there is a distinct way that my DH looks for things - basically, if it can’t be spotted the second (and I mean, THE SECOND) he starts to search, then it is officially lost. If he can’t find his socks in his sock drawer in under 1.2 nano seconds then I am called for to explain, A) where his socks are, and B) why they weren’t there a minute ago when he looked, or C) why do I hide them under his pants like that…
Of course, when its something important that is lost (think car keys, wallet, important paperwork, etc) it can become a little, erm, accusing in our household. Lot’s of me saying, ‘think about it methodically, where is it likely to be?’ and a fair bit of both of us saying, ‘Well, you had it last - no I didn’t, you did’ and ‘Well, where did YOU last have it?’. And it’s invariably a short hop and a jump to the full blown discussion as to the general tidiness of the house and why it is that only one of us is capable of putting things away properly whilst the other treats the place like a hotel (no prizes for guessing for who takes which role). It isn’t long before finding the lost item has taken second place to establishing firmly who is at fault for the aforementioned loss.
Mind you, I have to confess I have been known to freak out when I can’t find my glasses - ‘But they’ve got to be somewhere, I need them, I can’t drive without them, I’ve got to find them, it’s an emergency!’. Which is when I tend to get asked, ‘What, the ones on top of your head you mean..?’ (followed by smug face). Well, we all make mistakes, OK?
Now, where did I put that reminder about the car tax….